Governor Murphy Signs Executive Order Directing Thanksgiving Blessings Recount

Each year at Thanksgiving, in New Jersey, we are reminded to “Count Your Blessings”.

It was famed writer Henry David Thoreau who noted, “My Thanksgiving is perpetual. It is surprising how contented one can be with nothing definite — only a sense of existence.”

But some blessings countings in New Jersey must be carefully watched and recounted.

In anticipation of a close Thanksgiving Blessing Count, Governor Phil Murphy signed his 47th Executive Order, this one directing the creation of a Special Thanksgiving Blessings Recount Commission.

On the bipartisan Commission is Lt. Governor Sheila Oliver, Senate Majority Leader Loretta Weinberg, and Assembly Minority Leader Jon Bramnick, and Assemblyman Michael Patrick Carroll.

Lawyers from both the Democratic and Republican Parties are in the wings in anticipation of a Blessings Recount and will be available well into Wednesday evening up until the midnight deadline.

“We do not want any New Jersey resident sitting down for an afternoon of turkey and football on Thanksgiving Day, not knowing whether their blessings have been counted correctly,” added Lt. Governor Sheila Oliver.

“Every blessing this time of year, every New Jersey blessing needs to be counted, no matter how small,” shared Senator Weinberg.

Ultra-conservative Assemblyman Michael Patrick Carroll said, “New Jersey residents should be responsible for their own blessings, and not rely on the government to secure any blessings.” Carroll has announced that he’s not running for re-election in 2019; “…and that’s a blessing that everyone can count,” added GOP Assembly Minority Leader Jon Bramnick.

At the close of the ceremonial signing, Governor Phil Murphy and Lt. Governor Sheila Oliver wished “…all of New Jersey a joyous and wonderful Thanksgiving”.

Editor’s Note: For those unfamiliar with Mr. Novick’s satirical work, this piece is meant as a joke. Happy Thanksgiving. 

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