10:46 a.m.: Wednesday, March 27th: Hedges announces. He’s in. CD-12. Green Party.

11:46 a.m.: It still hasn’t processed. Again, it’s New Jersey. Politics is static here. There is no reason to overract to the same four fat bald guys fighting for the same three seats.

12:46 p.m.: Same. Snow on the TV screen.

1:46 p.m.: Wait a minute. Chris Hedges. You mean the author?? The guy who wrote War is a Force that Gives us Meaning?

2:46 p.m.: No. Couldn’t be the same guy. Not “Hedges”, you’re thinking of Henry Hill, the guy who wrote Goodfellas. And no, he’s not running for Congress. He’s dead.

3:47 p.m.: Hedges does live in Princeton, though, which is in the 12th District.

4:47 p.m.: Not the same guy. And anyway, war no longer gives us meaning the way it did even as recently as 18 years ago. We thought we hated those guys – our grandfathers and uncles and dads who wore the uniform – then we got Donald Trump, who wimped out of Vietnam, and realized maybe they all weren’t so bad after all. Nothing to see here.

5:47 p.m.: Hedges actually wrote deep stuff, dude. A real author. That book is legendary, man.

6:15 p.m.: No one reads anymore. His profession irrelevant, even a hindrance. How would he communicate?

6:47 p.m.: It is Hedges. It’s actually him, and he’s actually running.

6:48 p.m.: This is BIG news, man. We’ve never had an intellectual run for Congress in this state. We’ve had relgious people and would-be philosphers and dime store economists. But no intellectual heavyweights. Is this really New Jersey?

6:49 p.m.: I can’t believe this. CHRIS HEDGES IS RUNNING FOR CONGRESS. IN NEW JERSEY!!!

6:50 p.m.: This is going to be the best election cycle ever. We’re actually going to be able to talk about issues and not write about people’s tweets.

6:51 p.m.: Does Hedges even tweet??

7:00 p.m.: This is…the…best…day…ever….

4:23 p.m., Thursday, May 28th. Hedges aborts his “quixotic” congressional campaign.

4:23 p.m.: Thanks for the memories, Chris. “You really are a funny guy.”